little girl, Big World: March 2006

LIBERATED.

Crazy deadline week is almost over. And it's funny actually. Murphy's Law in action. The week where i had the most deadlines, I had to help people in their COW shift. haha.

As if i weren't busy enough. I pulled three all nighters, two of which were productive and finally finished the three papers that were due on Wed and one major paper due on Thurs. What made it more crazy was that i had two end of term exam like tests on THurs as well. So i had to cramp my mind with busloads of information and hope my puny brain at least absorbs some.

Well, I did finally drink coffee over here, to pull off my stint in finishing these crazy work and I think it does weird things to me man.

The first time i drank it, my psychomotor functions were completely retarded and jerky, resulting in me spilling coffee all over my bed, spraying myself with water in an attempt to clean up and spilling Anita's chips in the process. Klutz to the max.

Second time I had it, my mind was racing but my eyes were giving up on me. haha. imagine that.

i don't really know how i managed to survive this week, given my weakened state due to TOTM. but i pulled through by God's grace, and God's little angels that He sent to watch over me. Giving me a hug when i needed one , giving me food when i was hungry and nagging at me to sleep and eat well. Love you guys :)

Just a nice picture that me and Daffy took at the falls. Check out the beautiful rainbow behind us. it was perfect weather for a road trip to the Niagara Falls. It was all worth it.

yum yum. Was just talking about food with Ivan and decided to post up some pictures of the good food i'm having here. And nope, i haven't put on weight. HAH. but i'm working on that. and a little disclaimer on the song i posted below. Don't read too much into it. i was only intending to communicate the essence of nostalgia and the general feel of the song.

Counting Down Once Again...

It's the last of week of school and exams are coming up. I have crazy deadlines to meet, (read: two tests and a 15 page paper due on Thurs and three papers due on Wed.) And I think all these combined are getting to me.

Well, as some of you know, i think that might have been one of the reasons why i almost passed out. of course, it might have been also due to the fact that i was standing during an hour long concert (which shouldn't have affected me since i'm so used to standing) or it might have been due to to the fact that it was crowded (but it's also not very plausible since i seem to be the only one having breathing difficulty when there were like two other old men standing next to me who seemed fine). Bottom line is: I THINK I NEED REST. I started seeing black spots in my vision and my head felt very light and the last time that i ever felt close to that was when i was trying to learn how to play the flute.

On a happier note, I learnt swing dancing!!!! At this swing workshop last Sat and went again on Mon to Vault Lounge and bringing at least 10% of the ppl from WCRI with me. Hahahaha. If only i could bring so many ppl to church. I'll work on that!

The interesting thing in Waterloo is that there are more leads than followers, so basically, girls are of high demand. (wahahahahah. I feel so special) So there I was, getting a few requests to dance and really having a ball of a time being flung around and spinning like crazy. But i enjoyed the best the part where I was sitting down and taking a breather and watching others rule the dance floor. And the part where i was dancing with my favourite dance partner. haha. You know who you are. ;)

Nostalgia is starting to creep up onto me and I'm so tempted to come back to Canada again sometime in the near future, but i'm sure that the atmosphere will be different when i return. There'll be no more wild crazy all nighters playing bridge or MJ, no more fun partying, no more road trips, no more philosophical debates on the essence of love, no more gossip sessions, no more having simple communal lunches where we just simply bask in each other's presence.

And this song just keeps playing on my mind:
all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go
i'm standing here outside your door
i hate to wake you up to say good bye
but the dawn is breaking, its early morn
the taxi is waiting, he's blowing his horn
already i'm so lonesome i could die

So kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause i'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe, i hate to go

there's so many times I've let you down
so many times I've played around but
i tell you now they don't mean a thing
every place i go i think of you
every song i sing i sing for you
when i come backi'll wear your wedding ring

and now the time has come to leave you
one more time oh let me kiss yout
hen close your eyes and i'll be on my way
dream about the days to come when i won't have to leave alone
about the times when i won't have to say...

St Patrick's Day spent at Bombers with the girls. It's been a long long time since I partied with my friends from Singapore and we had such a blast! Girls' Night out is always special. And notice! we spent so much effort trying to dress up in green for the event! Joo and Saranya went to et something green for this event man. Anyway, Bomber's a club place that's on campus, YUP. that's right. ON CAMPUS. Uwaterloo wants their students to parrrrtttyyy! haha.

Just a side note: it's really funny how someone's seemingly insignificant reaction to something so minute can tell so much about the person. well. it isn't so funny anymore when that reaction pertains to calling other names.

Another side note: Forgiveness can only come with confession. If someone refuses to admit that what they're doing is wrong, how can the person expect others to understand and receive a peace of the mind? That's why the call to confession is so crucial in any service. That's what it means to be a sinner in God's eyes.

SAFE HAVEN

Winter's almost over. And i know i'm gonna miss the snow.

Well this blog is a tribute to my favourite place when i needed a sanctunary from everything, a place just for me to think about myself and everything else. THe BATHROOM.

Okaaayyy. it does sound a bit sketchy, but under the running hot water, i get a sense of self, and a haven away from the sights, sounds and feelings that i go through normally. It is where i look within myself and straighten myself out to face the world a normal girl again. Well, as normal as i can be.

Especially when there are too many things happening at such a short time. I'm saturated with thoughts and i have to detach myself.

Going to take a shower now. haha

IN SINGING MOOD

I love The Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack. Interesting songs. Like the following:

On this half lit day
With your crown beneath your wing
Every word just echoes
And the empty world sings

Where have you gone my feather light heart?
I never imagined I could leave.I

n the glisteningOf the lost and open sky
Tiny piece of you sits
Simple wish waits for reply

Where have you gone my feather light heart?
You mustn't forget what love can see.
Lisbeth Scott, Where

Oh perilous place walk backwards toward you
Blink disbelieving eyes chilled to the bone
Most visibly brave no aprehended gloom
First to take this foot to virgin snow

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind
AndI lift the envelope pushed far enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
Destined to serve, destined to roam

Oh ominous place spellbound and unchild-proofed
My least favorite chill to bare alone
Compatriots in place they'd cringe if I told you
Our best back-pocket secret our bond full-blown

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind
I am a pioneer naive enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
Destined to seek, destined to know

Most beautiful place reborn and blown off roof
My view about-face whether great will be done

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind
I am a ground-breaker naive enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne
--> Alanis Morissette, Wunderkind

Man these lyrics are intense.

BUSY!

Well. Second round of my mid terms are here. So another 5 more papers to go. And I've just realized that it'll be another one more month and I'll be leaving this place that i've made my home for two months.

Wow. I never knew it was possible to get attached to the place and the people so quickly and so deeply as well.

I mean, I do miss the people back at home, but I'm also gonna miss my friends that i've made here.

Received two pieces of shocking news just two days ago. And I'm at a loss at what to do. My mind tells me one thing, but another part of me tells me another. Eeks. And the worst thing is, I don't seem to have the courage to break out of this stagnant state.

BUT. I've never been so touched in my life. I really appreciate the honesty. I just need some time for myself to FIGURE THINGS OUT. seems like I don't have such a privilege here cos I have so many things to achieve in my short time here.

I really don't wanna lose who i really am in the process.

Guess i need to focus on my mid terms now and do other things later.

[edited: And then I realize that there's nothing to settle in the first place. hilarious.]

The dog's sniffing my hair!!! hhahaha dont'worry. i washed my hair when i got back. the dogs are so lovable though. They pounce on ppl cos they're so excited!