What keeps you through rough times? What gets you past problems?

Where does your hope lie in? When you meet a crisis? How do you know that it will get better? How do you know that whatever you're putting yourself through is worth it?

Is it knowing that your family will be there? Or your special person in your life is by your side? Or the vague knowledge that things will always turn out okay?

Hope is so important. To know and place your faith in a hope that will get you through is even more important. When you lose hope, you lose sight of what your purpose is in the first place, and you're anchorless, subject to the whims and fancies of your surroundings.

Place your hope on something or someone who is worth it.

I've found my hope. Have you?

Did you know that 4 years from the time I met you, you were leaving? Did that thought ever cross your mind? Would anything have been different?

It's frightful to know that no one really knows when the end of the road comes. That's why hope must sustain us through to beyond the journey.

Hope.

Look up at the starlit sky. If 5 stars were to fizzle out, who would notice?

But think again.

Consider that any one of the stars you see in the sky tonight is a star like our sun, holding, influencing, moving 9 or more planets like Earth around it, giving them warmth, granting them night and day, providing them a point of reference. Then to these planets, the star is everything, the star made all the difference, and the loss of the star will be noticed, if not sorely missed.

When things are reduced to it's most abstract, it usually easy to brush away. But this time, it's personal.

I was one of your planets, Reuben. Distant, but still affected in little ways from the time I knew you.

Did you know? For me, you signified passion, determination, focus and drive. Where I taught, you inspired. Where ever you went, they noticed. I cannot even begin to fathom the loss your family and close ones feel at this moment.

The picture did you no wrong because that was exactly what you would have been doing. You seemed to transcend the normal goings of life, and focused on your strengths and self-belief. I have never met a more self-assured individual who never reeked any arrogance or hostility.

In so many ways, you have remained the same as I remembered you. Spontaneous, playful, disciplined. But in the time that I've not contacted you, you have acheived more than I could have thought of. But that was not unexpected. I had only good hopes and faith that you would get somewhere. Because you're just you.

And I weep because I would have loved to see so much more of you. So much more of what you could have done. So much more that I and the rest of the world could have known about you. But all this recognition comes to naught when death knocks at our door.

When it comes to life and death, perspectives always get shaken, and jolted out of what is usually taken for granted. I know if I told you what a great person you are, it might not have prevented anything like this from happening, but I would know that you would have appreciated it, and I would have no regrets.

The world has lost a light, but I know that the kingdom of God has gained an angel.

And till we meet again, I will cling on to the heaven-inspired pieces you have composed, the lovely pictures of you in my memory, and the friends that you have left behind.

For now, just let me grieve.

I'm like a plaster.

Go figure.

FALLING.

I've had a great fear of falling. I say had, because today I proved to myself that falling isn't that bad.

Not as bad as having aching limbs and bruises all over my rear.

Breaking fall is the bad part. My arms are numb, my thighs are weak. My rear hurts and my hamstring is busted.

Beat that.

Remember the height from which you have fallen.


It really puts whatever that's been said to bad light when we see what is happening right now. Emotions can be swayed, devotions can be torn. Like I've said before, emotions are fickle. That's why we can't count on it. Not too much at least.

Go beyond giving your feelings lip service. No wonder He says that faith needs to be worked out. It's not about how you feel. It's all about what you believe in.

I guess then, you never really believed in the first place. Maybe you were trying to ease your conscience?

It's sad, really. To see this falling away. It's not giving proper respect, proper reverence, proper love.

Maybe you should reflect on your life.

It appears to me that the best moments are the shortest ones. Those that may not appear significant, but only upon hindsight do we find the precious pearl within.

But those moments that last for eternity matter the most. These are the moments where tenacity, resilience and perseverence are tested, when love is grown, nurtured, and built upon.

I seek to find myself, dig deeper within, but I can only see worthlessness and shallow lies.

That's why I'm sure I don't live for myself, or anyone else. But only for Him.

It is in the lowest valley where I collect myself again.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
- Moulin Rouge