little girl, Big World

Monday, June 25, 2007

It Begins.

A new beginning of a somewhat not-so-new phase of my life. Breathe, just breathe.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

I hate repeating myself. But there are somethings that just occur over and over again that run along the same lines that I can't help but wonder whether it is something inherent in me that makes it this way. That's why my friends ask me all the time why my blog is so hard to read. Well, this was supposed to have been a platform on which I upload photos :S

My life is not mine. Being a friend of convenience. Don't say thank you or you enjoyed yourself when all I was doing was filling up your time, I don't think that's right.

Sometimes, I feel like a rug that people step on and for that instant, feel good but immediately forget about it once they walk past. And honestly, I don't mind. At least I have been useful for that little while.

I'm so afraid of falling. Yet too proud to use help that will help me from falling. Ice-skating. I remember just refusing to use any aids and spent my time trying to figure out how to 'walk' on ice as if I was skating. Silly dodo.

I'm so afraid of getting hurt. I can deal with physical pain. I always have bruises and cuts and blisters. But emotionally, I'm a coward. (And in case you were wondering, no, i don't inflict physical pain on myself when I feel emotional pain, so don't worry).

Sis, thank you for being there. I think you're the reason why I don't have that many girl friends around me. And the reason why i can still remain normal even though I don't have so many friends.

I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal
Myself and I
We got some straightening out to do

Sunday, June 03, 2007

In less than 12h time, I'll be headed off to Korea. And in less than 12h time, a good friend and colleague of mine will be headed home. It all feels so surreal. Reminds me so much of the time I spent in Canada when I was going to head home after 6months. A certain disconnect with reality, or rather, a certain refusal to take in the reality.

I'm done with my work at that hellhole. I'm done with my studies at the university. I'll be done with my grad trip in one week's time. And it'll all begin on the 25th of June. Doubts creep into my mind on whether I'll meet up with expectations there. I'll try my very best.

4th June. Bittersweet. Things will be a bit different from now onwards.